patience patience patience.
God, the universe, all this energy will respond. Everything takes timing. Right place, right time. Every decision and choice we make, opens a different door for us every time. These past couple of days I have turned down going to a club or party. I wholly support my friends for what their successes are. But right now, it wouldn’t serve me any purpose getting drunk at night and waking up feeling like shit in the morning. Those 7 hours I could spare doing something my body truly needs right now, which is rest and meditation. I’m still learning patience in its true form. I’m just a few steps closer where I’d like to be. I’m trying to build a stronger mentality. These past Supermoons have truly affected the way I’ve been thinking.
During the Eco Advocates club I joined at school, one of the ice breaker questions were what made this summer fun… & For some reason, I couldn’t recall anything that truly stood out to me. And I thought damn, another summer wasted. It wasn’t though, I’ve had my moments. But that only reflected how much more I could have done, besides working, and seeing the usual people on a “routine’. What did excite me the most was finding schools I could apply to. ( Iowa being one, and still in my mind. I definitely seeing myself progress in a PHD or MD in holistic medicine. ) I am breaking my bad habits slowly but surely. I’ve been so lost in my thoughts that I’ve disconnected myself from the physical reality I’m in, from the people who mean the most to me.
I’m slowly trying to find my “safe place”. I know it’s like I’m reversing in my time of growing, but I know somewhere along the lines of getting older, I lost myself.
On a lighter note, I’m excited to see my mom. I have to plan out an exciting itinerary for us! But first things first is finish up my school work and be ahead for a week so I can truly enjoy her time here.
Maybe after schooling, I’ll move up to Montana with her. It doesn’t sound like a bad idea to start new. I’ll be brutally honest that living at home with my dad has only left me depressed and so unmotivated about my life. I literally haven’t done as much good for myself than I pictured for these past two years. It doesn’t seem like I’m moving out anytime this year anyway. I guess try to make it last as much as I can. Trying trying trying. Maybe I should take counseling, time, stress & anger management.
Some things need to change.
Kind of afraid to ask Alan Rickman for his autograph.
I try to draw something for fun/myself everyday (not necessarily ff8 art). It’s a lot harder to find the time than it sounds like and this is all I had time for today:p